Be your backup
by Vi West
Summary: Alison shot Maggie Chen. Beth risked her career to cover it up.


Alison's legs gave way. Her hands - accustomed to packing lunches, not to packing heat - shook uncontrollably. Sharp breaths pulsed her chest, in and out, making little noises that caught in her throat. The weapon slid between her fingers and skidded across the pavement.

With two gunshots ringing in her ears, Beth watched Alison's silhouette fold over from across the courtyard. She sprinted to close the gap between them. Alison was whispering something that Beth couldn't quite make out. Until she got closer.

"I was being backup. I was being backup. I was being backup," Alison gasped. Beth caught the limp body in her arms. "I was being backup. I backed up. I backed you up."

"Yes," Beth whispered. "Yes, you did." She reached over to retrieve the weapon.

"I'm a criminal," Alison said to the darkness, as if in confession to God.

The scene played on a loop in her mind: Beth leaving the car, Alison clicking out of her seatbelt, repositioning her phone in the cup holder ten times, a figure approaching from the rear view mirror.

Maybe Beth regretted calling Alison with information about Maggie Chen. Maybe the moment Beth had hung up the phone, she'd wished she could take the entire conversation back. But Alison hadn't cared. "It's too dangerous," Beth had said again and again. "You need backup," Alison had declared. All she'd wanted to do was make Beth proud.

Beth was the cop. Cosima the scientist. This had been Alison's chance to play a part.

"She was coming after you," Alison said, eyes glazed over as she continued to recount the sequence of events: Maggie approaching Beth from behind, Alison paralyzed and unable to yell for fear of blowing their cover, crossing herself and slipping out of the car, raising her gun, remembering what Beth taught her that day in the field. How her arms enveloped her. How safe it felt there, in Beth's shadow.

"I thought she- she- had...she was going to hurt you."

Beth took in the image of a dead Maggie Chen lying on the ground, blood pooling around her. She submerged any fear that threatened to rise and promptly iced it over. For Alison. Alison, who just jeopardized Beth's entire career and saved her life at the same time. Alison, whose sobs were echoing the open air.

"Shh. Ali. Ali, breathe." Beth glanced around to make sure they weren't attracting attention. "Shit. Come on."

Beth hooked her arms under Alison and hoisted her up from the ground. Alison leaned into Beth, placing her weight on her. Beth was prepared for the burden.

They maneuvered their way into the car. Once situated, Alison doubled over and replaced "I was being backup" with her new favorite sentence, "I didn't know what to do."

Beth's mind reeled, tasked with devising rational excuses for seemingly irrational behavior. She tried in vain to think it through as Alison's tears continued to fall.

The set-up was embarrassingly obvious. Alison would say, "I never should've come." And Beth would say, "If you hadn't, I'd be dead." They each went over this exchange multiple times in their heads. But neither voiced it.

"It's okay, Ali." Beth put her hand on her back, rubbing in circles, aiding her concentration.

She was the cop. She should've know better. She shouldn't have put a civilian in harm's way. She shouldn't have put _Alison_ in harm's way. She would take the fall. Alison, mother of two, would not be found at fault.

"I won't let you do it," Alison declared, intuiting Beth's thought process. "You can't take all of this on."

Beth just looked at her, this woman she so loved, was so proud of. She wanted to thank her for being there when no one else was, to kiss her for having the courage to pull the trigger. Mostly, she wanted to brush away the dark memory that would haunt her forever. For Beth, it was so simple. There was no choice to be made.

"We need to get you out of here," she said. "So I can call Art."

Alison shook her head, unbelieving. "No. Nope. Nope."

"He - I can trust him," Beth continued. "He knows." It was hard for her to say it. "He knows about the pills anyway."

Alison lifted her eyes, hiccups clearing the way for words. "Have you taken today?"

Beth scrunched her nose, trying to prevent the welled tears from dropping.

This was actually the first night in a long time that Beth hadn't drugged her body into numbness. And she had Alison to thank for that - for bringing her some peace of mind. Even among all of this madness. The least Beth could do was return the favor.

"It's okay," she whispered. "I'm going to take care of this. Everything will be okay."

Alison tilted her head, watching the wheels turn in Beth's mind, admiring how calm she looked despite the strongest of storms brewing inside. It was something Alison liked to believe they had in common. She leaned over and kissed her softly. She grabbed Beth's hand and closed it in her own with whatever strength she had left. The heat of that shared moment pinched a hole in their bizarre reality. They glanced at each other and laughed, feeling - for an instant - like stupid teens on the run from a petty crime.

Beth was the first to compose herself.

"Now tell me," she said, looking straight into Alison's eyes. "Did you see Maggie holding a weapon of any kind?"


End file.
